The Secret PA is Dreading Valentine's Day

Published on: 27 Jan 2015

OK, coming to the end of January, which in my world means three things:

1. Cadburys Crème Eggs are available again
2. New Year’s Resolutions have well and truly been burnt on the bonfire of lost causes (number 1 might have something to do with this)
3. The run up to Valentine’s Day is back with a-vengeance ...

... Valentine’s Day. Maybe if you’re part of a couple it just feels like an extended Christmas, where the person you love showers you with romantic dinners and teddy bears with their hands sewn on to nylon hearts (I’ve always thought this was quite cruel myself). If you’re a single like me though, it can feel like the day the world conspires against you to remind you that you’re not part of the club ... (or what things might be like if it had worked out with the person you could have joined the club with).

Anyway, if you’re a PA who assists your boss in their private life then it takes on a whole other meaning. I came back from lunch to find this memo from M.D. Underwood stuck to my desk:

The 14th

Get my wife something that says “I saw this and thought of you” / “Love you” / All that tosh women like, etc.

M.D. U.

Seeing as I’ve never met Mrs Underwood I have absolutely no idea what sort of “tosh” might say all of that to her. I’ve been scouring sites like Not on the High Street, hoping that a “personalised” gift might pass as “personal” in her eyes.

I also had a minor heart attack in my “Non-Executive PA” role for Curly Scarecrow*. Remember that? I was entering his expenses last weekend and saw a payment for a hotel room for two in Hampshire, over the Valentine’s Day weekend. It’s hard to keep your head when it’s your totally wrong for you but rather amazing ex you’re dealing with but I managed to avoid a full on nuclear melt-down by reminding myself that a PA is meant to remain discreet and professional at all times. Still, I can’t stop thinking about who it might be. My mind is racing with the image of every woman I think he’s ever come into contact with. I hope I didn’t make a terrible mistake by deciding to take all this on.

*AKA my extra work I’m taking on at the weekends to get his start up off the ground and contribute to my handbag fund